Why Lin Yeping fell for Zixuan
Written by lovelikethis
Lin Yeping didn’t realise Zixuan was his lover from his previous life, so what made him yearn for her when he left? Was it because his memories were erased but his feelings weren’t? This article attempts to explore the reasons why Lin Yeping fell for Zixuan and why it was fate they met again.
It was voiced in episode 18 that: “Though Lin Yeping did not go after her, since their first meeting, his heart was already with Zixuan. The more you suppress the feelings of love, the more passionate it gets. No matter how Lin Yeping tried to avoid it, he was unable to ignore the voice of his heart. Besides, it is the will of Heaven.”
Deep inside Yeping’s heart he has already loved Zixuan (from the love that was left over from his previous life as Liufang), so this was why he couldn’t forget about her.
To better explain this, there’s a portion of lyrics from the beautiful ‘Promise to Not Love You‘ song that I’ve always associated with Changqing’s circumstances involving his not being able to remember who Zixuan was. From my perspective, these lyrics fit perfectly with why Yeping’s heart was already with Zixuan since their first meeting and why he starts yearning for her:
“I haven’t had the time to feel sadness. [because he doesn't remember her, making it easier to disregard her]
Love has made its way into my breath. [because she reappeared in his life and tried to get him back]
What doesn’t exist, exists at the bottom of the heart. [he was always loving her even though he didn't know it and doesn't remember her]”
In the second and third lifetimes, although he couldn’t remember her and she didn’t exist to him, she exists at the bottom of his heart. He doesn’t know but she holds a very special place there (the place in his heart that represents his greatest happiness); however, it’s a lonely, forgetful place that can only be touched and slightly recalled whenever Zixuan appears. And so her reappearances triggers him to have those dreams.
The reasons why I said that that place in his heart represents his greatest happiness is because Changqing had stated a few times throughout the series that Zixuan was the only person who could make him feel things no one else could. Back in episode 17, when Changqing was still Liufang, he told his Taoist master that he didn’t care who Zixuan was, saying, “I only know that she can make me cry, and laugh, be happy, and sad. She’s the lady whom I miss dearly. She’s the only one who makes me feel that my life is meaningful.” Then there was another case of him (this time as Changqing) revealing how Zixuan made him felt and that was toward the end of episode 23 when he was going to find Zixuan. He told the Taoist Sect Leader that when he had made up his mind to find Zixuan, he felt a joy that he had never experienced before, and that the feeling couldn’t be described with words. — So this was why I called that place in his heart as one representing his greatest happiness, because Zixuan herself is his greatest happiness.