Changqing and Zixuan: Fate, love and letting go
Written by lovelikethis
‘They’re in love with each other. Why couldn’t Changqing and Zixuan stay together in the end?”
This question constantly comes up during the final heartbreaking scene where the couple “forget each other”. Their love spanned for over 200 years in three-life times, aren’t they fated to be together? Why, after everything they’ve been through, does Zixuan force him to ‘let go’? Isn’t it somewhat selfish on Zixuan’s part for insisting to be involved in his life (when Changqing resisted) and when he finally admits how much he loves her, she makes him just “forget everything”. Shouldn’t he have the right to choose his own happiness, and make decisions for himself?
It’s not all as simple as that. Zixuan was mistaken in the beginning of their third lifetime together. At first, she was given false hope because she realized that Changqing still remembers some of their memories together (during that scene when she finds him unconscious leaning on a tree in the forest). So because she thought that he’d be lonely without her (and because she always wants the best for him), she was mistaken in believing that the best thing to do is to get back with him, because at that time she thought that if Changqing still remembers her, those remaining memories and her love for him was enough for her to pursue him again. She thought that somewhere deep in his heart, he must have some kind of yearning for her if he was still able to remember her even after his memories were sealed, and this is why it made her want to be with him again and believed that her fate was to be together with Changqing one last time.
Zixuan’s problem was that she was just too much in love. She loves hard and she loves deeply, so much that she even prevented her own child from growing just so she could be with Changqing again. That should already say a lot about the love she has for him. So the whole time, my impression was that she was just holding onto the past, and couldn’t bring herself to let go after seeing that Changqing somewhat remembered her. There may be a few other reasons as to why she wasn’t able to let go, but I think this is one of the biggest reasons. It wasn’t until later on, after going through so much together, that their time together made her realize what was more important. It’s twisted I know, but that’s just how things work sometimes. It doesn’t always make sense, but it happens. Life is twisted that way. As Changqing himself stated in his letter to Jing Tian: “One must experience emotions before one is able to overcome them.” Likewise, Shenggu herself once told Zixuan: “You must go through it, before you can overcome it.”
It’s true that what she did was selfish, but in the end, she did make the right choice. She finally realized that she was wrong (cause when you’re in love, you don’t always do the “right” thing, and you usually just follow your heart) and through this found the strength to let go. During an episode when Zixuan was talking to Shenggu, she mentioned Changqing dying an unfair death in their second lifetime; so another reason why I think she couldn’t let go of Changqing was because she still needed closure from what had happened in their past. Zixuan confided in Shenggu that she wanted to wait for Changqing to be reincarnated into his next life so she could explain to him that the person in her heart has always been him. Her exact words were, “I must make it up to him… and give him happiness.” The incident of Changqing/Yeping getting stabbed to death most likely left her traumatized (obviously since she loves him with all her heart) and probably scarred her badly so that’s why she still wasn’t able to let go of Changqing yet.
In another way, their time together in the third lifetime gave her closure and she was finally able to move past such a traumatic event (Yeping’s death). So there’s a whole lot of baggage and pain involved in this couple’s relationship; it’s not just all black and white. It also seemed like Changqing was heavily scarred too. The first thing he says to Zixuan when he started remembering their past lives together he yells at her “tell me, who else is in your heart?!” And then after he wakes up in Nuwa’s temple, he was crying and in so much pain because all of those old emotions of hurt and loss that he experienced with Zixuan in their previous lives started coming back to him. So it looks as if they both were hurting badly (it’s just that Changqing didn’t remember it like how Zixuan did until she appeared again in order to save his life). The time they spent together in their third lifetime probably did more good than bad for the both of them. At least they finally got to resolve their problems, and move on with only good memories and the love they both have for each other in their hearts (now that Changqing knows for sure that he’s always been the only man in Zixuan’s heart). So even though their separation was a sad ending, it was also a good ending. I think it’s the best ending to a love that lasted for 200 years. Especially for a love that’s forbidden by heaven.